May 23, 2013.
The day that I was a mermaid and I felt beautiful and it’s one of those feelings that I wish I could keep in a jar to have in the winter time like strawberry preserves or raspberry jam so I had someone take a picture and sure enough, the self-confidence thing worked and someone told me that I was glowing and it’s the best compliment I’ve ever received. Glowing. I was luminous. The end.
You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.
—Richard Siken (via crowdedmind)
I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow / I hope it bleeds all day long / Our friends say it’s darkest before the sun rises / We’re pretty sure they’re all wrong / I hope it stays dark forever / I hope the worst isn’t over / And I hope you blink before I do / And I hope I never get sober / And I hope when you think of me years down the line, you can’t find one good thing to say / And I’d hope that if I found the strength to walk out, you’d stay the hell out of my way / I am drowning / There is no sign of land / You are coming down with me / Hand in unlovable hand / And I hope you die / I hope we both die.